Awareness and Uprooting

As an amateur meditator, I get this question often -

“You have been meditating for a few months now. How do you think it has changed you?”

Well, here you go. Through this blog I will emphasize on one change that I am experiencing after just a few months of meditation.

Let me try to explain that -

To begin with, there is a significant change in my awareness. Obviously, I wouldn't brag of having a total control over my thoughts, but my awareness about my thoughts and my emotions has certainly increased. There are moments in the day when I snap out of the “thinking mind”, and make a note of what I am actually thinking.

Awareness helps. Awareness helps me to analyse the quality of my thoughts. Majorly it helps me categorize my thoughts into 2 broad types -

1. Unwholesome thoughts (Bad guys)
2. Wholesome thoughts (Good guys)

Let me explain what these 2 types are.

Wholesome thoughts are the good guys. These thoughts which revolve around the betterment of myself and everyone else.

Unwholesome thoughts are the bad guys. These thoughts do NOT revolve around the betterment of myself and everyone else. Thoughts of hatred, jealousy, insecurities, etc. fall into this category.

Some examples of wholesome thoughts are -

1. I feel good today morning, I should exercise!
2. My colleague has been really helpful. Wonder why he is upset. Hope he deals with his problems soon :)
3. Writing this blog is so much fun!

Some examples of un-wholesome thoughts are -

1. I have so much work to do. I don't think I will be able to complete this in time.
2. She was rude to me! How dare she speak to me like that? Arghhh!
3. Why doesn’t family ever understand me?

Long story short - Unwholesome thoughts create suffering. They make sure that we are caught in an unpleasant loop where we keep on chewing the uncomfortable thought again and again and again and again. To achieve freedom from this loop, it is essential that the thought is uprooted.

Now uprooting a thought does not mean that we resort to positive affirmations, because that will just be merely suppressing it. This is where I think “positive thinking” has it’s limitations. Uprooting means that we let go of the thought completely. Period. The “letting go” action must ensure that even the basic roots of the thoughts are removed from our system.

Coming back to my own experience, I have experienced that whenever I become aware of the thought, it helps me to reflect on it. How can you let go of the suffering if you are not aware that you are suffering? Awareness is the first step. It is like half the battle won.

Now, meditation develops this wisdom inside you. This wisdom is your protector. The mind is like Gotham city...chaotic. The wisdom is Batman! As the meditative practise keeps getting stronger, so does the wisdom component. After the awareness step, wisdom steps in, reflection takes place. In this reflection, I realise the futility of the thought. I realise that it is my own ego which is the cause of all the misery. And then the wisdom speaks. It says “Enough. This is unwholesome. You don't need it. Enough”.

I am obviously trying to dramatize the whole experience. But I hope you get my point.

To sum it up - awareness and uprooting are the 2 major findings for me, after the limited amount of time that I have spent in meditation.

As human beings, we are far from being omniscient. But, there is always a possibility to take baby-steps to free ourselves from the misery and suffering.

We all need to meditate guys :)